If you are a loving couple or a married couple, sex is an essential part of the relationship. Although its original purpose is to make a baby, it has more implications than that, such as confirming affection and communication.
When a man and woman are together, it is very natural for it to develop into sex. But it’s also true that some people, regardless of how long they’ve been together, fall into a sexless relationship.
It’s very hard to be in a relationship where you’re still in love with each other, but the only thing you can’t do is have sex…
In this article, we’ll discuss the causes of sexlessness and how resolve it, as well as the most common reasons why men and women don’t want to have sex from each of their perspective.
If you’re currently struggling with sexlessness with your partner, or if you don’t want to be sexless, please check this out.
Table of Contents
What is sexlessness?
The declining birthrate is now a social problem, but the root of the problem lies in the lack of sex between couples and couples.
While it’s common for couples to have less sex because the longer they’ve been together, the less exciting and fresh it is, there are also people who don’t have sex with each other for as long as they’ve been together.
By not having sex, people often worry that they are not attracted to each other, that they are bored with each other, or that they are cheating on each other, and this can have a negative impact on their relationship.
Although you want to avoid sexlessness if possible, there are many different causes of sexlessness in different couples and couples, and it can be caused by a combination of multiple factors.
To avoid the sadness, you must understand the causes of sexlessness and take steps to prevent it from happening to the best of your ability if you are not already sexless. Sexlessness is not something that can be prevented naturally, and it requires both your partner and you to improve your awareness and ingenuity.
Definition of sexlessness?
A sexless relationship is defined as “a couple that has not had sex for more than a month in the absence of illness or other special circumstances”.
A month without sex may seem surprisingly short to some people, but for the sake of convenience, it is a situation where one person wants to have sex and the other does not agree.
Also, and this is most common in emerging markets, 49.3% of respondents who have had sex in the past have not had sex within a month, and if we restrict the survey to married people, the figure is 44.6%.
Nearly half of the respondents do not have sex, which explains why the birthrate is declining in emerging countries.
It’s no wonder that people who don’t have a partner go longer without sex, but if couples or couples are sexless, one of them is going to have a hard time.
Sexlessness can be dealt with and resolved differently if the woman refuses to have sex or if the man refuses to have sex, so you need to figure out which is the cause first.
Can sexlessness be resolved?
When sex, which is also an expression of love, disappears, many people lose confidence in themselves and once they fall into sexlessness, it is difficult to get out of it. However, sexlessness can be eliminated by understanding the causes and knowing and implementing solutions.
In fact, many people have actually ended their sexlessness with their long-time partners, and there are many examples of people who have had more children from that.
I think that the presence of children can change your attitude towards sex, but if you want children and you don’t have sex, women can get very impatient.
If the reason for the lack of sex is a woman’s fault, most of the problems can be solved by changing one’s appearance and behavior.
However, if the cause is the man, if he doesn’t get the other person to improve, he won’t be able to say “I want to have sex with this person again,” and so the sexlessness will continue.
This can be a sensitive issue for both of you, so it’s important to create an environment of cooperation between the two of you.
The feeling of refusing to have sex
Sexlessness has a very deep connection to each other’s feelings. The longer a couple has been together, the less they feel for each other and the more they may neglect their partner.
Also, the feelings of refusal to have sex will change between men and women.
We all want to be a couple that can be together forever, but sometimes we can’t do that anymore, and it’s not uncommon for us to get emotional and fight with each other.
Next, let’s take a closer look at how men and women feel when they refuse to have sex, by gender.
Men’s feelings of refusal
The following are some of the most common feelings we see when a man refuses to have sex with his female partner
- They only see you as a family member.
- Tired of having sex with the same partner.
- Mental and physical fatigue.
Many men, when they are in a relationship for a long time, see her as a family member from her to his wife and from his wife to his family.
They don’t want to engage in sexual activity with their family members, so they see their women as family, which causes them to not have sex with each other.
Also, if the sex always flows and reacts the same way, they get bored with their partners and get stuck in a rut and don’t want to have sex with them.
Men can find these actions tedious, especially since they have to go through the process of penetration, such as caressing a woman to get her aroused.
These are the things that lead to the feeling of not wanting to have sex.
Also, if you are standing in an important position at work or being given an important task to do, you become mentally exhausted.
Also, a hard work environment can lead to the behavior of refusing to have sex with a woman when she asks you out because you don’t have the energy left to have sex.
The feelings of a woman who refuses
The following are some of the most common feelings we see when women refuse to have sex with their male partners
- Only see him as a family member.
- Tired of housework and childcare.
- Found someone she likes other than her partner.
This one will be the same thing as men, but women tend to lose the ability to have sex with men if they see them as family.
There are also reasons for this, such as not being able to look at their partners in a sexual way if they look so much different than they did when they were together or when they were first married.
Also, when women have children, they have to take care of their children and do housework in between.
If you are a working person, you add more work to this and the physical exhaustion can be very significant.
Every day and night is exhausting, and when a man asks you to have sex with him, you are not able to do so because you are exhausted. You don’t have the energy left to have sex.
There is also a period of time after childbirth when you don’t instinctively accept your partner’s male partner (this resolves itself over time), and postpartum sexlessness is particularly severe.
Other times, if a woman has someone other than her partner that she is interested in, she may not be able to have sex with anyone else.
Many men are able to have sex with women who are not their partners because their minds and bodies are separate, but women may not be able to have sex with their partners because their minds and bodies are connected and their mind’s reaction is to not want to have sex with anyone but the person they love.
What causes sexlessness?
If you feel that you’ve stopped having sex with your partner…” or “Come to think of it, I haven’t had sex in over a month” or “I want to have sex with my partner, but they don’t accept me,” then you may be experiencing a lack of sex Let’s.
And since there is always a cause for the sexlessness, we need to figure out what causes it to apply to us.
Sometimes one or the other is the cause, and sometimes both are the cause.
If there are things that are causing each other, there is no point in one of you trying to improve the situation, you need to work together to solve the problem.
Know the causes of sexlessness
Next, let’s take a deeper look at the causes of sexlessness. Some of the most common causes of sexlessness are tiredness, stress, lack of time…etc. I’m sure there are many others, but I’d like to focus on these particularly common causes.
The solutions to the same problem are different for men and women.
It’s natural because of the different surroundings and mindset, but it’s very difficult to understand everything about the other person.
Let’s break it down into the causes and solutions of male sex problems and the causes and solutions of female sex problems.
Tired
When you’re tired, you don’t feel like having sex anymore. Sex also consumes a lot of energy, so if you’re tired in your everyday life, you may not want to have sex.
Men are often mentally and physically exhausted, especially at work. Relationships can also be a source of fatigue. Men have a higher desire for advancement and are more likely to be entrusted with large tasks than women.
As the mental fatigue caused by this piles up, they seem to lose the desire to have sex and sexual desire after they get home.
As a woman, you have to do housework and work, and if you have children, you have to take care of them.
With the help of your partner, you have more time and energy to live your life, but if you’re doing everything on your own, you’re going to be exhausted at night and you won’t have the desire to have sex.
If you’re both tired, you won’t have much room to spare and it’s not uncommon for fights to break out. It is important to watch your partner’s condition and be patient with them.
Stressed out
If you are stressed out about work, relationships, or home, your autonomic nervous system can be disrupted and you can lose your sex drive.
The autonomic nervous system and sexual desire are closely related. When men are overly stressed, the mental strain can also cause sexual dysfunction, such as an inability to get an erection.
This leads to a negative cycle of wanting to have sex, but not being able to, which leads to a further burden. The causes of stress vary from person to person, from work and family to the future, but try to avoid stress, and if you are feeling stressed out, find ways to release it.
If you are a woman, it is easy to get stressed out about family, children, relationships and work, but like men, excessive stress can affect you mentally and physically by making it difficult to get excited or to get wet.
It can also delay or stop your menstruation, so you need to make sure that you have the right amount of time to relax and avoid stress.
For both men and women, stress has many negative effects outside of sex, so it’s important to release it well. It would be ideal if we can create a relationship in which we can care for each other.
Don’t have time
Do you ever not have sex, which is an expression of love between two people, because you don’t have time to do it? People today are so pressed for time that they don’t have time for hobbies or time for themselves.
It’s understandable that people would rather make the time they have available when they are busy than make time for the two of you, but sometimes it’s important to make time for the two of you.
Men, in particular, often turn down women’s advances for sex because they say they don’t have time for it because of their work, but if this continues, women will stop asking for it and it can lead to a serious sexless situation.
A woman may also turn down a man’s invitation to have sex with her, saying she doesn’t have time for it, but it’s often because she’s not in the mood or for some other reason rather than because she doesn’t have time.
If you say you don’t have time, they can’t do anything about it, so make time for the two of you to take it slow and gradually build up your sexual arousal so that you can have sex.
Can’t be attracted by partner
Many couples and couples who have been together for a long time are unable to get sexually aroused because they cannot see the other person as the opposite sex.
When they first started dating, it was all they could think about, but as they continue to date, they may get stuck in a rut and gradually become sexless because they can’t see their partner as the opposite sex.
I think the most common reason why men can no longer see their partners as the opposite sex is because they don’t feel like a woman. For example, they don’t wear the same clothes and make-up when they get home, or they don’t feel ashamed to walk around the house naked.
If a man is in love with a woman, he wants her to be beautiful and embarrassed forever. No matter how long you’ve been in a relationship, a certain amount of shame is going to be necessary.
One of the reasons why women don’t see their partners as the opposite sex is because their appearance has changed quite a bit since the beginning of their relationship, or they are arrogant.
If you worked out and dressed well in the beginning, but now your body shape has changed and you dress appropriately, you will lose your thrill and crush. Also, if you are arrogant, you won’t want to have sex with them.
In order to keep each other in mind as the opposite sex, don’t neglect to make an effort to keep your appearance beautiful no matter how old you are, and don’t forget to be considerate of the other person.
Not feeling sexual desire
The reasons for the loss of sexual desire are different for men and women.
For men, it can be due to work stress, physical exhaustion, or lack of attraction to a partner. Work stress can be affected by mental pressures and pressures as well as physical problems.
Mental fatigue can also lead to sexual dysfunction, which can lead to a lack of sexual desire. In addition, men’s sexual desire peaks in their teens and twenties and declines after that, especially since many men in their mid-thirties experience a decline in sexual desire, which may be caused by aging.
For women, this could be due to stress, rutting, or childbirth. Stress is similar to that of men, and mental and physical exhaustion from work and family matters can lead to extremely low interest in sex.
Also, if the relationship with your partner is in a rut or you don’t feel attracted to them, your sex drive tends to decrease.
And, as a woman-specific cause, sexual desire can diminish after giving birth.
After giving birth, many women feel that they have no time for a man because of the unfamiliarity of childcare and housework, and many women get used to not having sex during their pregnancy and feel somehow uncomfortable having a baby.
In order to deal with these things, it is important to avoid stress and improve yourself as much as possible.
In addition, if a woman does not get her man’s help with housework, childcare and work, she will become less and less interested in her partner. It is important to let your partner know how you feel if you are not getting his or her cooperation, and to build a relationship in which both of you can cooperate and meet within a reasonable range.
It’s too much trouble
Some of the causes of sexlessness include thinking that sex is too much trouble. Troublesome” can mean many different things, but for men, it’s often when they are tired or have something to worry about.
Also, there is a tendency for sex to be seen as a man’s initiative and for women to be passive. Since men do everything from creating the atmosphere for sex to kissing and caressing to increase a woman’s sexual arousal, some men feel that it is a bother to do so.
If a man feels that it’s a hassle, you can expect a woman to actively caress and attack a man to make him feel different and to get him in the mood.
Besides being tired and unattractive to a partner, women may find it troublesome because they don’t have a sex drive to begin with, or because they’ve become more focused on a connection outside of the body.
A woman’s hormone balance changes on a monthly cycle, and her health changes from day to day. If the timing is not right for a man to ask for sex, she will not want to have sex with him.
Many women also want to focus on the emotional connection to sex rather than the physical connection. This doesn’t mean that they don’t like their partner, but often when the relationship changes from lover to family.
Both men and women may have times when they don’t want to have sex with each other at the moment, so it’s good to be conscious of communicating with each other on a regular basis so that you can understand those times, and try to be considerate by being there for your partner and giving in where you can.
Aging of the body
The most common cause of sexless couples is age-related physical deterioration. Men’s peak sex drive is said to be between their teens and their 20s, while women’s peak sex drive is said to be between their 30s and 40s.
However, both are at an age where they begin to experience extreme physical decline around their 40s, and often lose their sex drive at the same time.
Men often work until retirement, and it becomes more and more difficult for them to work and then come home and have sex with each other.
It’s not the fault of the other woman, but it’s due to their inability to keep up with their physical strength.
Women’s peak sex drive is in their 30s and 40s due to hormones, but that’s also when men’s sex drive is not so great.
Women, like men, may be reluctant to have sex due to physical decline, so it’s important to scrape the timing together.
If you are not having sex because of physical decline, you can try to find ways to enjoy it without having to have intense sex.
For example, you can use sex toys to reduce the amount of energy you have to expend, or slow sex where you attack the points you feel slowly.
Trying new things will help you enjoy sex from a different perspective, so try new sex when you feel your body deteriorate.
Hormone disruption
Hormonal imbalances can cause low sex drive, which is more common in women than in men.
Because a woman’s hormone balance changes in about a month depending on her menstrual cycle, her condition will vary from day to day.
For the first week or two after a woman’s period is over, she is usually feeling good and positive about sex, but from about two weeks after her period, when she is about to ovulate, she will gradually start to feel depressed, and a week before her period is due, she will experience irritability, stomach aches, and other physical problems.
If a man asks you to have sex at this time, you don’t feel good and you don’t feel well. This is a strong feeling. You can’t make a man fully understand the health problems caused by a woman’s period, so let’s tell him in words and gradually help him understand.
Specific Solutions to Sexlessness
Just because you have become sexless doesn’t mean that the situation will continue in the future.
You can end your sexlessness by addressing the underlying causes that have stopped you from having sex.
First, you need to figure out what caused the sexlessness, but once you know what caused it, then you just need to fix it.
We’re going to break it down into cases where it’s caused by a man and cases where it’s caused by a woman, so check out the ones that apply to you.
If it is caused by a man
When a man is feeling sexless, a woman needs to make an effort to address the cause of the problem.
Especially since visual and physical stimulation can often solve sexlessness, women should look good themselves and create an environment that makes men want to have sex with them.
If you feel that you are spending less time together than you used to, you should make it a priority to create an environment that is conducive to sex.
Once you’ve made the necessary changes, you are much more likely to be able to end your sexless relationship by making the following changes to your environment By taking it slow and not rushing, your man will be in a natural mood to have sex without feeling rushed.
It is also highly recommended that you review your caresses on your man. Careful caresses, including massages, will make you feel better.
Putting make up and dressing up, dieting and getting back to your old style also helps
When you were first dating, weren’t you more into makeup and dressing up more than you are now?
You may have taken care of your body shape and made sure you didn’t gain weight, but when you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you may become indifferent to these things and before you know it, you may look far different than you did in the beginning.
Men find it harder and harder to get sexually aroused by the appearance of a woman who has changed, so the first step is to improve yourself and get rid of the lack of sex.
Specific measures include wearing make-up every day, even when you’re not going out, and dressing nicely if you do go out.
Even when you’re at home, instead of wearing comfortable clothes like pajamas and sweatshirts all day, try to wear cute loungewear or wear clothes for nearby outings.
Also, take a look at your appearance in the mirror at least once. Do you have more fat or less style than you used to?
Your body shape will change as your living environment and life stage changes, but if you don’t pay attention to your diet and exercise, your body shape will change in no time. It’s a good idea to take a look back at your current lifestyle and see where you need to improve.
Increase skin-to-skin contact
When a person is sexless, there is often less natural communication and skin-to-skin contact.
There are times when we don’t have skin-to-skin contact with each other due to awkwardness, but in this case, if a woman dares to increase skin-to-skin contact with her man, it is often possible to resolve the sexlessness with a little bit of a trigger.
For example, when it’s just the two of you, you can try to increase the amount of physical contact you have with your partner, or put your head on his shoulder to spoil him.
Communication is also part of skin-to-skin contact, so it’s good to make time to actively talk to your partner in the morning, after dinner, or before bedtime.
Few men feel bad about being pampered by a woman, except when they are fighting with each other, so let’s take advantage of the right time to pamper your man.
Treat his tiredness
One of the most exhausting times for men would be when they come home from work.
It’s not uncommon for them to work from morning till night and when they finally come home, they are exhausted. When you’re exhausted, everyone wants to be soothed, and men tend to be especially so.
There are many ways to soothe your tiredness, but some of the most effective ways are to treat your man and get around, cook dinner with your favorite foods, or give him a massage.
When you have something good to do at the end of the day, a man can also say, “Let’s get back to work tomorrow! It will make you feel like you’re a good person, and you won’t have negative feelings about sex.
A little bit of care from a woman is important, so let’s be conscious of this.
Appeal with stylish underwear and sex toys
Wearing stylish underwear that you usually don’t wear after you get out of the bath, or showing your sex toy to a man, is another way to show him that you want to have sex with him.
Men in particular tend to get excited when they see a woman wearing underwear that they don’t usually see, and they are more likely to be in the mood to have sex with her. Women may be embarrassed because they are appealing to you, but sometimes it’s important to act boldly.
Also, if a couple has never used a sex toy before, one way to do this is to buy one so that they don’t find out and encourage them to use it when they are in a good mood.
If the man has never used a sex toy before, he may be tempted to try it, and this may lead to sex. Buying a rotor or other easy-to-use device that is easy to use can be a good way to pique a man’s curiosity.
Going to see a sex toy for couples
Separate room from the kids
If a couple has a child, they will inevitably be in the same room with their child.
If you are in the same room as your child, there is a concern that your child will wake up and be seen while you are having sex. Many men don’t feel like having sex in that situation.
There is also the option of having a separate room in case the child sees you.
When the children are young, it is better to move from one room to another when they are completely asleep, but once they are somewhat older, it is highly recommended to keep the rooms separate so that it is easier to start right away when they are in the mood for sex.
When a woman is the cause
When a woman is feeling sexless, a man needs to make an effort to fix the cause of the problem. Unlike men, women tend to focus more on communicating and atmosphere, so some men may find it a bit troublesome.
However, it’s what you do on a daily basis that produces the greatest results, so don’t feel like it’s a hassle and try to solve the problem little by little. Also, going out on dates to places you don’t usually go or giving gifts can be very effective. While keeping these things in mind, check the following things
Have a conversation
When you’re not having sex, it’s also when you are communicating less and less.
Make sure you have many opportunities to talk to your female partner about any topic, whether it’s what happened today or about your plans for the weekend. When women have fewer conversations with their men, they become frustrated with even the smallest things.
Also, if you have small children, only your partner, the man, will be able to talk to you properly because you are raising your children for a day and dealing with them.
If you go home and barely talk to a woman because you’re “too tired,” “I don’t have time,” or “I just want some time to myself,” she won’t know what you’re there for, and that can lead to sexlessness.
On work days, the only time you can talk is in the mornings and evenings, but it’s a good idea to make time for conversations, even when you have limited time, and to manage your schedule so that you can make time for family and yourself on your days off.
A little conversation will make a woman happy, so try to make a conscious effort to communicate with her every day, and you may find that your sexlessness will dissolve.
Give a gift
Giving gifts to women can also be an effective way to end sexlessness. However, it is not okay to give gifts at any time, but there are effective ways to give them.
Women never feel bad about receiving a gift from a man, so the timing of the gift, the situation and the timing of the gift is important. The best time to give it to someone is on a date or after you get home from work for some anniversary.
If it’s a date, going to a place you don’t usually go on a date, such as when you’re looking at a night view or at dinner, can be a great way to remind yourself of your first date.
An unusual space can help you forget the stresses and worries of normal life, so when you feel uplifted and ask a woman to have sex with you, she will often be on board, and that can be an opportunity to end the sexlessness.
It is highly recommended that you give her a gift when you come home from work on your anniversary, as you can expect to get in a good mood and get into the flow of having sex when you go to bed.
It’s also even better if you can give your woman what she wants, but to do so, you need to increase your daily conversations and research what she wants beforehand.
In order to give gifts effectively, communicate frequently and be aware of the timing of the gift so that you can give it to her at a time that she will be impressed.
Timing your gifts
A woman may not want to have sex at this time.
It depends on their mood and their physical condition that day, but sometimes the timing is not right, and the man may refuse an invitation to have sex with them, making it harder for them to ask for sex after that, which can lead to a sexless relationship.
The timing for this is often when a man is busy with work or childcare and wants to go to bed early, or when he is emotionally unstable before his period, or when he is in a bad mood.
While men are aroused by visual and physical stimulation, women also value the mood and feelings of the moment, and if a man asks them to have sex with him when they are not in the mood, they will refuse.
If this continues, it often leads to mutual awkwardness and a sexless relationship.
You can avoid the situation of refusal to some extent by considering the feelings of the woman and reading the atmosphere of the situation, so men should try to ask her out for sex at the right time.
Skinship
Increasing skin-to-skin contact was effective even when it was caused by a man, but increasing skin-to-skin contact can also be effective when it is caused by a woman.
Look back at your life and think about how much you and your partner talk, and if it seems to be less, try to increase your conversations. Also, holding hands unexpectedly or putting a hand on your shoulder when you’re alone can help.
When a woman does something that she doesn’t normally do, she gets a kick out of it and her mood is lifted. Some people want to have sex at night when their moods are uplifted, so why not be proactive about skin-to-skin contact?
Treat it carefully
If you are a couple or a couple that has been together for a long time, you may find that women are treated a little more cursory, but no matter how old they are, they want to be treated special.
Things like not listening much anymore or not caring enough can leave a woman frustrated. When these things build up, they can cause a woman to not want to have sex with a man, which can ultimately lead to a sexless relationship.
However, there are times when a woman is the cause of a woman’s treatment of you. For example, they may stop doing housework at all, or they may be playing around while the man is at work.
If those things continue to happen, it’s no wonder that women are treated like a mess. If you suppress your complaints, you will be stressing yourself out, so be sure to talk to them about the things you want them to improve and ask them to improve.
Use contraception
One of the reasons why women don’t want to have sex is because the man doesn’t use contraception. If a couple wants children, they don’t have to use contraception, but if they don’t want children, they are more likely to get pregnant if they don’t use contraception.
Many men want to have sex without contraception because they get more pleasure from sex if they don’t use contraception, but women don’t want to have sex with someone who doesn’t use contraception because of the burden on their bodies and what happens if they get pregnant.
If you want to have unprotected sex, you can ask the woman to take the pill, but you need to discuss this with your partner and it is not recommended that you only impose on a man’s desire to have unprotected sex.
You can consider it if it is mutually acceptable to both of you, taking into account the physical and financial burden on the woman.
Sexlessness can be resolved with your mindset!
Sexlessness can be caused by either a man or a woman, or it can be caused by both. There is always something that is causing the problem, and if you figure out what it is and improve it, sexlessness can be eliminated.
If stress is the cause, it’s also important to adjust the environment, as your sex drive won’t return until the underlying problem is resolved.
Also, when you are in a relationship for a long time, you tend to cut corners in terms of your appearance, but both men and women want their partners to always be good-looking and beautiful.
One of the ways to improve yourself is to remember how you felt when you first started dating.
Also, you can’t expect to get rid of the sexlessness unless you try to fix it, even if you know what’s causing it.
If your partner is the cause of the problem, don’t tell him or her straight away, but tell him or her that you’re working hard and want to work with him or her to improve, so that you can work together without making him or her feel uncomfortable.
Summary
In this article, we have discussed in detail the causes of sexlessness and how to get rid of it. It’s a very sensitive issue, and many people are struggling with it because they can’t even talk to their nearest and dearest about it.
As a relationship goes on, sex becomes less and less frequent for all couples, but if it’s due to a lack of sexual desire or a lack of attraction to the other person, it can be disheartening.
First, figure out whether it’s the other person or yourself that’s causing it, and then try to solve the problem.
